Happy Birthday Laila

Today marks 19 years for you on this earth and I could not help but look back. I still remember the day I first saw you in the hospital. I remember my first thought was why are her cheeks so big I can barely see her nose or lips. I remember how pissed of I was when you came home and everyone was fussing over you. I mean, I had been an only child for almost 8 years and I was used to being the centre of attention. All of a sudden, I was not. And I was mad. Maybe that's why we had a quite rocky relationship for a while. Never could get along, always fighting. But it is more than that. It is because we were so different in age that by the time you were growing up and probably wanted to bond, I was battling the psychological mess that is adolescence.

Enough about that. I think of today. I think of the beauty of the relationship we have today. I thank God for the fact that we talk more and yell less. That we are old enough to have disagreements and move on. That unlike some 5 or so years ago, we can hang and talk and just be. I don't want to sound like your mother (even though mama is amazing), nut I have learnt a few lessons along the way. And I would like to share.

1. Gratitude. Be grateful for life each and everyday. When you find yourself complaining about your life, count your blessings and start with the fact that you are alive and because of that simple fact, there is an opportunity to make it better and change the course of things. Be thankful for sight, hearing, hands, feet.  Those very simple things we take for granted and yet so many people do not have. Be Thankful. Being thankful for the blessings you have, both big and small, It puts life in perspective. It helps you see all your blessings. It helps you realise you can overcome whatever it is.

2. Forgiveness. Unforgiveness is like a cancer. It festers and it grows. It consumes you and makes you bitter and it hurts you. Fun fact: Unforgiveness only hurts you. See most times people who hurt you and never come back to apologise either are not aware they have hurt you or really just don't care. Forgive them anyway. Simply because not doing so means you carry anger, pain, frustration and so much unhappiness whilst they move on happily with their lives without a care in the world. Life is too short to remain unhappy because of anyone. Refuse to let anyone or any situation make you bitter. Do not allow anyone to live rent free in you head. Forgiving does not mean forgetting. Neither does it mean what the person did was right. It simply means deciding to choose yourself, your sanity and your happiness above all else. It means refusing to give anyone the power to control your happiness. Life is a beautiful journey you cannot fully appreciate and love if you are bitter

3. Love. Love openly and completely. Strength (not the physical kind) is imbibed by those who love openly, completely and unconditionally. Many people do not understand this because logically speaking, loving this way makes you vulnerable and makes it easier for people to hurt you. What they forget is that it also makes it easier for people to love you and because you understand what vulnerability is, you never intentionally hurt anyone even if that is the easiest rode to take. This is true strength.

4. Kindness and Compassion. These two I find go together. They together with love make the world go round. It is truly very difficult to practice kindness and compassion when you do not have unconditional love and once you have kindness and compassion, you begin to treat people better. You treat them with respect and you treat them how you would want others to treat you (Note that treating others with kindness and compassion and respect does not guarantee that they will treat you the same way. Do it anyway. It is never about them. It is about you). There is a joy and satisfaction associated with treating people with kindness because it brightens up their day which makes you feel good inside. It also starts a chain reaction because if they are happy, they are more likely to treat other people better and something you did, puts a smile on so many other faces. It is an amazing feeling. Try it. Be kind to everyone. Be kind to one another. Be a blessing in the lives of the people you meet

5. Faith and Determination. Another two things I find go together. Have faith that things will work out. Know that you serve a merciful God. Who does not give you more than you can bear. And just like the highest diamond has been formed from the greatest pressure, so all the difficult things that happen to you are designed to mould you into a better person. There are days that you will feel overwhelmed by everything. Be grateful for them and keep fighting for the dream  you keep in your heart (I hope you do have a dream. A vision you want to see happen. A picture of your future). The difficult times will teach you important lessons. Learn them. Life will keep repeating the lessons until you learn them. When something happens to you, take a minute to figure out what lesson you are supposed to learn and never forget it. When things are going well, enjoy it and be grateful that your prayers are being answered. Share the joy with those around you.

6. Friends. A friend is a person who understands your silence without you explaining yourself. You see, A FRIEND understands your tears and your smiles. Knows when to talk and when to listen. Tells you the truth to your face and defends you behind your back. Your friends understand you. They celebrate with you in the good times. But most importantly, they will never CONSIDER walking away in times a trouble. These people are only a few in your life. Treasure and treat them right. They are those that walk in when everyone walks out. You will have a lot of people around you who say they are your friends, that's okay. Have fun with them but learn those that are true friends quickly. Know whom to tell what. Your true friends are those people you know you can trust. Let yourself be your best friend too. Treat yourself right. Be as kind to yourself as you are to others. When it is time for you to make a choice about a soul mate, pick someone who is a friend in every sense of the word and who loves you and accepts you for you are. No one is perfect and take it from me, you can't change anyone so don't start thinking. " I will change him later". It won't work. Decide which flaws you can live with. Love him with all your heart but please, take your brain along with it. Love is not all about money. It is about love.

7. Believe. Believe in yourself and know your worth. And never settle for less. Do not let anyone diminish you based on your gender or anything else. I am not saying be arrogant or proud. I am asking you to carry yourself with the grace and dignity of someone who knows her worth, knows how hard she has worked to get here and is not apologising for being a success. Believe in yourself. No one is going to do that. The sky is not the limit, its the staring point. You have a whole universe before you. The storms will come. When they do, hunker down and don't give up. This too shall pass. They say winners never quit and quitters never win but you will find that there are things that are toxic so you have to let them go. Do not be afraid to do so. Never give up on yourself or your dreams. And in pursuing you dreams, enjoy the journey. It is infinitely more rewarding than the destination. Relax and know you can be whatever you want. And you can be excellent at it. Be excellent

8. Patience. Be patient when things do not go your way. It's okay. Patience is not waiting for something to happen. It is how you behave whilst you wait. Learn to smile through whatever it is. Thank God and keep the faith. It gets better. It always gets better. Again, Giving up on yourself and your dreams is never an option. Know that the things that happen to you today will lead you to the place you are meant to be. When you feel all doors are closed, Praise God and be thankful. Do your best and work as hard as you can. More importantly work as smart as possible. Your breakthrough will come.

9. Humility. A lot of people think humility is allowing people to walk all over you. It is not. It is actually recognising that everyone is important irrespective of their social standing. It is treating people with kindness and respect. It is treating people like they are human because your having more than someone does not make them less than. Being humble is recognising that all that you are and have is because you are blessed and not because you are better than others.

10. Integrity. Integrity is doing what is right even if it is not favourable for you. It is honesty and truth. Be a person of integrity that stands up for the truth. Be bold to stand up for what you believe in but never stop learning. Be open to learn new things everyday. You may find that the truth is not what you thought it was. Stand up for the truth even if you are the only one. The only thing necessary for wickedness to triumph is for good people to do nothing.

My life is perfect even when it is not. Because when I apply all these things, I realise that I am more blessed than I could ever have hoped for. My life is perfect even when it is not. I pray that you can get to the point where you can smile through your tears and say I am blessed for it is a truly great place to be. I don't always say this but I will say this today. I love you and I don't ever want you to forget it. Even when I am mad at you, I love you. I wish you enough. I wish you enough sorrow, joy, strength, weakness, trials, love, pain and good times to make and mould you into the best possible version of yourself. May God continue to bless and guard and guide you in everything and may the coming year be better than the past year in every way. I pray God answers all your prayers in according to His will for your life. I pray you have enough. I wish you enough. Happy Birthday Little sis.

P.S. Tell the people you love that you love them. Life is short and fleeting. It is worth more to them now than writing a long tribute after they die. Make the people you love know and feel it now.

Selah,
Mira

May grace and blessings never be far from you. And may love, kindness and compassion be the language with which we speak to each other.