Journey Around The Sun

I have always loved my birthday. It has always served as a reset button for me; Just my luck that it also seems to mark the end of the year for everyone as well. At the beginning of the year, I had a list of resolutions I hoped i'll achieve. At the end of the day, all my resolutions were aimed at achieving just three major aims.

First, to be a kinder and more compassionate person. To remind myself each day that the people I meet have their own struggles and unique experiences that make them who they are. To put myself in other people's shoes and understand them. To be less judgmental and more loving. To remember that everyone has some good in them along with some bad and by virtue of this alone everyone deserves a second chance. To listen more not just to reply or win an argument but to truly understand another point of view. To take a minute to breathe and think about what I am about to say before I actually say it. To respond more and react less. To encourage and not demoralize. To treat everyone with respect; whether they return this respect or not is of little consequence. I refuse to give anyone else the power to control my response to any situation.  To be more patient and understanding with people. For the most part I think I was successful. I faltered many times and regretted some actions but I am proud that I tried. 

I am a worrier by nature. I obsessively plan out things in my head and rethink everything. I plan for things that may never happen and no matter how well I prepare or even how many times I have done anything, I consistently expect something to screw  it up. This year I resolved to let go more and let God. It's funny how this particular resolution makes me realise that I am a walking oxymoron; a contradiction in terms. On the one hand, I am almost blase in how unperturbed I am by things I cannot control. For these I have no problem letting go and letting God. The problem is with anything that is remotely a scenario that I can control. I mean you know it's bad when you drive yourself crazy. But I am happy to say it appears to have gotten easy with time. I have learnt to trust my preparation process. To do what I must as diligently as I can but then, truly let go and let God. Trust that it will all work out. I am not one for dwelling too much in the past especially in what could be considered negatives. However, in this particular instance, it has been an important reminder that God indeed has got me. For no matter how bad things have gotten, it has never overwhelmed me. Grace has kept me and continues to keep me. It is easier to let go and let God. And for that I am grateful.

Maintaining an attitude of gratitude. Each day, I am reminded that as glaringly imperfect as my life is, I have a multitude of things to be grateful and thankful for. chief of which is the gift of life. by the time I am done typing this piece, it will be 31st December 2016. and I am still here. So many people did not make it to this point and each day I am still alive is a new day to be better, to be kinder, to get it right. And that if nothing else is a reason to be thankful. I have my family, my health. I am still here to see the sun and complain about how warm it is and in the next breath complain about the cold on a windy day. I resolved to be thankful for the big things and little things. For the good and the bad. And I learnt something; gratitude is a powerful thing. It puts life in perspective in a way that you won't believe. It shifts your focus and compels you to focus on the positives in your life. It is amazing what a shift in perspective does to the spirit. When you change your perspective and become more positive the quality of your life becomes better. 

I have made a full circle around the sun. I have been bruised and beaten down. I have been incredibly sad and depressed. I have lost my faith and found it again. i have survived almost (one day more) 366 days and have come out on the other side. I am grateful for that. When I made my resolutions at the start of the year, I did not realise how interwoven they were or how much they would feed off of each other. I did not always succeed in sticking to my resolutions. But I am human and I acknowledge this humanity and my fallibility. I am immensely proud that I always tried though. 

So before it is really my birthday (last day of the year though, I mean????), I want to state that I am immensely grateful for my year. The good and not so good. For the mistakes I made and the lessons I learned. I am secure in the knowledge that I failed a whole lot, but also won. That I kept trying and that I never gave up. I am happy and blessed. 2017? I have decided these resolutions will do just fine. I will keep at them. Each day, I will remind myself to let go and let God. I will be grateful for little things like the sun shinning, the giggle of a child on the bus, the trees swaying in the breeze. I will be grateful for big things like life and family and health. I will remind myself that kindness, compassion love and understanding are universal languages that everybody understands, irrespective of who they are. I will remind myself to speak this language in my daily walk because I wholly believe that this is how we change the world; one act of kindness at a time.

Grace has kept me and continue to keep me. Oh what a beautiful thing it is. My heart is glad and I am grateful for everything. Indeed grace has kept me. I am blessed beyond measure and for this, I am truly grateful. 

Selah,

Mira

May grace, mercy and blessings never be far from you. And may love, kindness and compassion be the language with which we speak to each other.